Saturday, March 18, 2006

Jerry Jones Has Gone Mad

Terrell Owens
Hiring Barry Switzer
just became the
second dumbest thing
Jerry Jones has done
America’s team is about to become America’s punch line. Could Jerry Jones’ plastic surgery have affected his ability to think rationally? After signing Terrible Terrell Owens to a three year contract that even suggests “record money” for a wide receiver, Jones surgically enhanced scalp is either tugging on the logic section of his brain, or he’s gone mad.

In either case, Jones has always done thing his own way, so this stunt will surely arm us with more content down the road than we’re even able to fathom at this point in time. T.O. was made for Jones and vice versa.

What will be interesting is how Owens answers questions about his shenanigans in Dallas a few seasons back, when he desecrated the Dallas star at Texas Stadium when he played for the 49ers? The worst part of this signing is that Satan himself, Drew Rosenhaus, will be permitted to speak in front of America’s television cameras once again. Any face time that this clown receives is time we all lose in our lives.

We’re going to beat the Vegas odds-makers to the punch by setting our own over and under on the number of games it will take before Owens pisses off Dallas fans. Take the under 18 ½ on this one folks. That’s between games 2 and 3 of the 2007 NFL season for those of you who need us to spell it out for you (you don’t really think Dallas is getting anywhere near a playoff spot do you?).

Where’s George Teague and Emmitt Smith when you really need them?

2 Comments:

Blogger The Armchair Quarterback said...

There has got to be some conflict this season between him and Bill Parcells doesn't there? Keyshawn was arrogant and a loudmouth but he worshipped Parcells. I don't think T.O. worships anyone but himself.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The difference is, Owens is actually a threat on the field. Me-shawn was a mediocre NFL receiver who parlayed a Heisman trophy into a legend that never was. Owens will give the Tuna MUCH more grief than Me-shawn.

12:39 PM  

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