Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Apparently they don't offer Business Ethics 101

Duke Lacrosse
Buy 3, Get 1 free
pair of handcuffs
Duke’s Fuqua School of Business is one of the nation’s best places to learn about the great art of capitalism. The school’s retail store is leveraging the publicity, albeit bad, that the school’s lacrosse team has garnered in the past month for the sexual assault charges that have been brought upon two of the team’s players. So like any good (translation: evil) capitlist, the store is moving "Duke Lacrosse" merchandise like hotcakes.

"Historically, lacrosse has been one of our three or four best-selling sports," said Tom Craig, general manager of retail stores at the Durham, N.C., school. "But over the last month, sales have increased to three or four times our normal rate."

This guy can’t be serious.

"We just had to keep up with the demand," Craig said. "There are a couple outstanding orders that we are waiting on; but as of now, we are in great shape in terms of inventory online and at the stores."

The demand? Unreal! This guy is jonesing because he’s moving inventory thanks to the alleged rape of a woman by representatives of the school.

"I don't think we're taking advantage of the situation," Craig said.

Expect the “Son of Sam digs Duke” t-shirts in the campus bookstore in time for Christmas. The “Coach KKK” line should also be a big hit by the time lynching or basketball season rolls around (whichever comes first).

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