Sunday, January 29, 2006

Will O.J. be there to cut the ribbon?

Ray Caruth couldn’t get do it, but O.J. Simpson did. Lest you forget, the Juice got away with murder. Literally. The reason we bring it up is because Simpson’s lawyer, the honorable Johnnie Cochran, was honored by the City of Los Angeles last week. That honor came in the form of a middle school which will be renamed after the late attorney.

School district officials voted unanimously to rename the former Mt. Vernon Middle School, where Cochrane once attended, saying Cochrane was an "extraordinary, superb lawyer with movie-star celebrity status." Well, since he was movie-star-esque, then certainly we should be honoring that accomplishment.

Grammar teachers at the school will amend courses to permit the butchering of the English language under certain circumstances. The school’s motto will also be modified to read, “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.”

State officials responded by filing a ballot measure to have the state capitol renamed the “Jackie Childs Capital Building.”

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