Looks Can Be Deceiving

New Florida Marlins manager Joe Girardi announced on Monday that players reporting to Spring Training will have to do so without any facial hair. Copying a page out of Yankee owner George Steinbrenner’s guide to running an oppressive kingdom, Girardi will implement a policy that is even more strict than that of the New York boss.

"I want players to look neat and responsible," Girardi said at a media luncheon Monday. "Maybe it's old school. But it's kind of neat when people are always clean, and I like it."

Girardi’s plan lacks one major thing. The faces behind all that absence of facial hair don’t belong to Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez or any other Bomber. After Florida’s recent fire sale, this smells more like slapping lipstick on a pig.